


When I Wake

by eridol



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24911464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eridol/pseuds/eridol
Summary: Kakashi threw the covers off of himself and held his head in his hands as he leaned forward, a bit depressed by his lonely bedroom; dark walls, dark floors, small and confined with hardly any furniture or decorations in it aside from the bed and the corkboard that hung on his wall.The Jonin found that he didn't quite care what time it was. He needed to get out of his room, get away from the thoughts that he wanted a family and a life with you because yes, he already knew he was in love and that by itself was something he could force himself to handle if he avoided it enough, but dreaming about what he couldn't have hurt him more than anything and he needed to escape for a little bit.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Reader, kakashi - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 175
Collections: Kakashi





	When I Wake

Kakashi Hatake wasn't sure exactly where he was, but his vision was hazy and blurred, and when he tried to move, he found that he couldn't. 

It was a kitchen... Not his kitchen- no, it was too nice to be his kitchen; fancy tile floors, soft yellow walls, a ton of cooking equipment that he didn't know how to use let alone own, and a long kitchen table with an array of food; rice, dumplings, fried chicken, salad, steamed vegetables... Not only that, but the person who was sitting at the table looked just like him, albeit a little older, and without a mask on. That was confusing.

Kakashi tried to move, to go to the other version of himself, but he found that he was frozen there. When he tried to look down at his own body, there was nothing but the ground.

"Rin, dinner's ready," Older Kakashi called out, a smile on his face... The name had him freezing. Was this going to be another terrible dream about Rin? Oh, right. This was just a dream, wasn't it? That was the only thing that could explain this... "Could you come down?"

"I'll be right there, Dad!"

Dad.

That wasn't his Rin's voice, and the girl who came running into the kitchen certainly wasn't his Rin either. This was a different Rin. She was young, maybe five or six, with silver hair and (e/c) eyes... Those eyes looked familiar, and Kakashi quickly realized why when you and a teenage boy came walking into the kitchen a few seconds later.

That girl had your (e/c) eyes.

Kakashi wasn't stupid. The teenage boy had his silver hair and dark eyes with a more masculine version of your facial features, the girl had your eyes, his hair, and his nose, and both the dream you and the dream Kakashi were wearing matching wedding bands on your ring fingers.

"Oh, (y/n), Sakumo, welcome home," Kakashi wanted to wince at the sound of his father's name falling from the other Kakashi's mouth but figured that the name was something his subconscious had stirred up to make whatever the fuck this dream was even more torturous for him. 

"Thank you, Kakashi," You smiled and looked at the older version of him, and then at the array of food at the table. "Did you make dinner? I could've made it-"

"You two have been out training all day," The other version of him stood, walking over to you and wrapping an arm around your waist before kissing your lips and pulling back. Kakashi wished he could touch you so freely in real life, but he supposed that the dream would suffice for now. "I don't expect you to come home and make dinner. C'mon now."

"Ew," Sakumo's face scrunched up, which earned him a laugh from everyone in the room.

"Saku, hi!" Rin greeted her brother, practically jumping with excitement, and Kakashi was beginning to hate how detailed this dream was because he knew it'd be on his mind for the rest of his life. "How was training with Mommy? Was it fun? Do you think you'll pass the exam?"

Exam. The boy did look about Chunin-exam age, maybe thirteen or fourteen if not a little younger. 

"Obviously," Sakumo rolled his eyes with a lazy smirk. "Do you think you'll pass yours, Rin? I can help you with training if you want."

Oh, dear. Logically, Kakashi knew it was a dream, but the thought of that girl becoming a Genin or Chunin at the extremely young age he had made him nervous.

"Seriously? I can do everything just fine, watch..." Rin went to form some sort of hand seal, but you quickly stopped her.

"Hey, you two know about the rule of no Jutsus in the house unless it's an emergency," You scolded, crossing your arms. "Go outside if you want to show off."

"Why'd you two make that rule anyway?" Sakumo asked.

"Ah, it was actually your father's idea..." You explained, pointing to the dream Kakashi, who offered a lazy shrug in response. "You were quite the crier as a baby, so Kakashi tried to use a small fire Jutsu to catch your attention and make you stop since peekaboo wasn't working anymore, but he accidentally set the curtains and a few photo albums on fire in the process."

"Sit down and eat if you're hungry," The older Kakashi pointed at the food on the table. "You've all had long days."

"Nah, c'mon, Rin," Sakumo didn't even really acknowledge his parents, just taking Rin by the hand and exiting through a screen door that connected the kitchen to the backyard, which apparently had a training field in it. "Let's go train for a bit."

"I see they're the same as usual," You sighed and crossed your arms.

"They are our kids," The older Kakashi laughed and looked over at you. You seemed to be tired, bags under your eyes and posture sluggish. The silver-haired man figured that you must've been working hard, which wasn't unusual. "I guess they get it from us, but... You look exhausted."

"I could use some rest," You admitted. 

"Go to bed, sweetheart," The older Kakashi pressed a kiss against your forehead- something he wished he could do in real life. "I'll put the food up and meet you upstairs in a few."

A blurred flash and he was in a bedroom that wasn't his, watching the older versions of you and him yet again. The room was too well-decorated to be his, wooden floors with a plush green carpet in the center, matching olive painting the walls. It was well-furnished, too, with a large dresser, bookshelf, nightstand, and bed that matched the rest of the room. 

"Hey, I stopped by the store and bought the new edition of Makeout," You were laying on the covers in nothing but one of his t-shirts and a pair of panties as you reached underneath your pillow and whipped out a book. "I already read it, so it's all yours."

"Without me? I'm shocked," The older Kakashi, who had been laying next to you, plucked the book from your hand and tossed it to the side before resting his hands on your hips. "Offended, betrayed... Whatever shall I do to punish you for the grievous crime of reading the new book without me?"

"Not sure, but you'll have to wait until the kids are at Guy's tomorrow to do anything," Oh. They must've been going there to stay the night or something... Part of Kakashi was genuinely thankful that this wasn't turning into a wet dream. "They'll probably come inside and head up here to say goodnight to us any minute now, and I'm not letting them walk in on us."

"Fine, fine... I love you."

"I love you, too."

Those weren't words that Kakashi Hatake said very often. The last person who'd said them to him had been Rin Nohara, who was dead, and he'd never said it back to her while she was still alive, which he strongly regretted. The last person he'd actually said it back to had been his father, who'd been dead for a good two decades now.

So, yeah. He didn't say those words very often, and maybe that's why he was so stunned when he shot straight up in his bed from the dream, heart beating so fast that he swore it might've ripped right out of his chest.

Another dream about you; his heart, his soul, the love of his life... Not that you knew you were any of those things to him. 

Yeah. The situation was complicated, and this dream was different than the usual ones. The usual ones about you were twisted, gruesome nightmares that involved death and blood. They were always terribly realistic and detailed to the point where they stuck in his head for days if not weeks afterward every time he tried to go to sleep, flashing images of you dying a violent death by his or someone else's hand plaguing his mind.

This one was... Certainly nicer. Dreamy, soft, everything he'd ever wanted in life, all displayed to him within the span of a few minutes of sleeping.

But it was too good to be true, especially with how his current relationship with you was. It wasn't bad by any means- really, it was the exact opposite. You'd been the strongest medical ninja on his team during his Anbu days, which led to you two developing a close friendship since you were the one stuck trailing and treating him on most missions. You'd been discharged shortly after he was, and then sent to act as a nurse at The Ninja Academy while still doing regular missions on your offtime.

Even though you didn't work with Kakashi anymore, he'd gotten attached, so he always managed to find one excuse or another to come to see you- whether it be dropping by your work with lunch or by your house in the middle of the night with injuries from missions for you to heal. He didn't like being in the hospital all by himself when he could stay at yours and have you by his side, so he almost always ended up with you after missions, even if the 'injuries' he had were little scrapes that would be gone within a couple of days anyway.

You two were just coworkers and friends. You took care of him when he needed it, you supported each other, and you hung out and talked regularly, but it certainly wasn't romance even though he'd known that he'd been in love with you for a good five or six years now.

...His life was such a fucking mess.

Kakashi threw the covers off of himself and held his head in his hands as he leaned forward, a bit depressed by his lonely bedroom; dark walls, dark floors, small and confined with hardly any furniture or decorations in it aside from the bed and the corkboard that hung on his wall.

The Jonin found that he didn't quite care what time it was. He needed to get out of his room, get away from the thoughts that he wanted a family and a life with you because yes, he already knew he was in love and that by itself was something he could force himself to handle if he avoided it enough, but dreaming about what he couldn't have hurt him more than anything and he needed to escape for a little bit.

So, Kakashi was standing up, slipping a pair of sandals on, and readjusting the mask that was connected to his shirt collar. The pajama pants he was wearing were a little baggy and didn't match the shirt, and the shirt was going to expose his arms to the cold air since it was sleeveless, but he found that he didn't mind it all that much. 

Careful not to wake the Ninken who were sleeping in their beds, Kakashi slipped out of the apartment and into the night, climbing down the flight of stairs. When he reached the streets of the residential area of Konoha, he wasn't surprised to see that the streets were basically empty.

What he was surprised to see was- well, you.

Kakashi had only walked partially down the block when he saw you turn the corner, looking as gorgeous as ever in a simple t-shirt and athletic shorts, your hair pinned back so it would be out of your face.

"Kakashi, hello! What are you doing out so late?" You greeted him once you were close enough to, both of you stopping in the middle of the road. Kakashi flushed red as his dream came back to him, and he simply stared for a minute, wondering if you'd ever want the same things he did. For some reason, he doubted it, but... He could still dream. Apparently, though, he'd been staring for a little too long, because you stood on your tip-toes without any warning and leaned closer to get a better look at his masked face, your (e/c) eyes burning into his. "You didn't get injured again, did you?"

"Hi, (y/n), um... No, I'm fine," Kakashi muttered, placing his hands on your shoulders to push you back just a bit before letting go and averting his gaze. "Just taking a stroll."

Well. At least that last part wasn't a lie. 

"What's wrong, then? Your face is awfully red," You reached up and placed your palm against his forehead. You weren't wrong- his face was red and burning hot, which was further accentuated by your cool skin pressed against his. Unfortunately, you quickly retracted your hand and crossed your arms with a glare. "If you're sick again and still working yourself to death, Kakashi, so God help me, I will whoop your a-"

"I'm not sick, I..." Kakashi trailed off, and then let out a huff, unsure of how to explain himself. He probably looked like a mess to you; confused, tired, mismatched clothes, no headband to keep his hair back. "Sorry."

"Ah, it's alright, but are you sure nothing's wrong?" Your gaze softened, a subtle frown taking over your features. Great... Now he had you worried. Maybe he should've just stayed cooped up in his apartment after all. "You seem off."

"Is there possibly..." Kakashi wasn't even sure why he was asking this. It was stupid and risky, but if there was any chance of getting anything out of you that would give him a shred of hope, he wanted to try. "Anything you'd like to tell me?"

"Anything I'd like to tell you?" You tilted your head and placed a finger on your chin, clearly oblivious. "I'm not sure there is, at least not anything in particular... Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Kakashi shook his head and gave a dismissive wave before turning around and walking in the other direction, ready to go back to his apartment and take a depression nap as soon as possible. "I'll see you around, (y/n)."

~

The next time Kakashi Hatake saw you, he was beaten, bloodied, drugged, emotional, and worn. He had been on an S-Rank mission outside of the village, and while he thought he'd handled all of the enemies, right when he got back to the village gates, he'd been attacked. The enemies knocked out the Chunin-level guards without a hitch, so it had just been Kakashi left to fare for himself, and he... Had managed. To a certain extent, at least. 

He had some cuts and scrapes, they'd torn his mask to shreds, one of them had shoved some sort of pill down his throat that he assumed was meant to knock him out, and he was bruised all to hell. Luckily, nothing was broken or fractured, and some Anbu had shown up to help him in combat and take care of everything. They'd offered to take him to the hospital, but he was honestly sick of sitting alone in hospital beds when he knew you, a medical ninja.

So, he'd shown up at your doorstep despite it being past two in the morning, battered as he weakly knocked his fist against the front door. 

"(y/n)," He groaned, offering a weak smile as you opened the door in nothing but a sports bra and shorts- your lights were on, so he figured you were using that little training area in your house to work out before going to bed... Or, you had been using it to work out before he showed up and interrupted you.

"Kakashi! Oh my God, what are you doing here this late?" You questioned, appearing shocked- both because he probably looked like garbage and because his mask was nowhere to be seen since it had been torn to shreds. He'd used what was nearly the last of his chakra to flicker to your house, afraid of passing someone else on the street and letting them see his face... Not like he was really in the condition to be walking from the village gates to your house in the first place regardless. "You're bleeding! Are you okay? Come in-" You cut yourself off and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him into your entryway and shutting the door behind you. Weak, Kakashi collapsed into your body, allowing you to wrap your arms around him to hold him up.

"(y/n)..." Kakashi looked up at you with a dopey grin as you dragged him along to your living room couch, where you sat him down right next to you. Conveniently enough, you had your first aid kit sitting on the coffee table right in front of you, so you already had full access to everything you were probably going to need.

"What happened to you?" You got to work as fast as possible, stripping him of most of his clothes so you could get a good look at his injuries; his shoes, pants, backpack, pouches, vest, long-sleeve, undershirt, sports tape, and headband were all pried from his wrecked body and tossed across the room. "Was it a mission? An invasion? Assassin?"

"It's just a mission, love, stop worrying-" Kakashi hadn't meant to call you 'love'- it was just something that lingered in his mind most days, but he'd gone and let it slip. Thankfully, you didn't seem to mind, more focused on putting your hands on his chest to start healing his more serious wounds. 

It was nice. Kakashi was in pain, and he was beyond tired, but it was nice to have you so close to him, warm hands on his cold chest and (e/c) eyes peering into his charcoal ones. If he was being honest, he didn't mind getting hurt more often if this was what came from it

"Okay, you don't need to tell me any more than that. Just take deep breaths and let me heal you."

You took a deep breath in, and he followed, matching your pace. It was calming to be sitting there with you, your hands glowing green as you gently glided them over his body, sealing his cuts closed and transferring some of your chakra to him in the process. You wrapped a few of the bigger ones with bandages and disinfected them, using your chakra to heal the bruises as well. Staring at you in the warm lighting made him realize just how in love with you he was, and he thought that maybe this would be a good time to tell you the truth about everything.

"I have to tell you some-" He started, but of course, you cut him off. 

"Wait, were you drugged, too?" Your eyes were filled with worry as you reached forward and rested a hand on his cheek. He leaned into the touch, unable to help but notice the frown on your face, which showcased your worry even further. Even if he liked you taking care of him, Kakashi was suddenly slammed with guilt for making you look so distraught over him... Maybe he should've just gone to the hospital after all, but then again, there was the issue of everyone there seeing his face since his mask was destroyed. In fact, he was still surprised that you hadn't mentioned seeing his face for the first time.

"Yeah, I think so."

"How long ago?"

"I think it just kicked in since it was given to me right outside the village, maybe twenty minutes ago..." Kakashi murmured, feeling terribly sluggish. "Doubt it's anything deadly, probably just something to knock me out. I imagine they were trying to kidnap me and bring me back to their village for interrogation after I killed so many of their men."

"Just orally, right?" You asked, standing up, and he nodded. "Okay, I don't have any emetics, so you're gonna have to make yourself throw up if you can- just to get it out of your system. I'm not taking any risks with you because God forbid you get poisoned again."

Right... It certainly wouldn't be the first time you'd dealt with a poisoned Kakashi, and he imagined that you didn't want to have to do it another time, so he understood.

Again, he nodded and allowed you to pull him along to the bathroom, where he knelt over the toilet, bare knees on the hard ground. He was so close to you at this point that he didn't really care if you saw him at his worst physically, so him forcing himself to throw up with you standing right there wasn't as embarrassing as it probably should've been. Throughout his career, he'd had to do this a million times over, so he could throw up on command. That part wasn't hard. What was hard was tolerating the taste of stomach acid, which was the only thing that came up along with whatever medicine he'd had shoved down his throat about a half-hour before.

Getting it out did feel refreshing, and as soon as he was sitting up and flushing the bile down, you were sitting on the floor with him with a hand on his back and giving him a glass of water.

"Oh, God..." Kakashi groaned, slamming it down in one gulp before leaning up to set it down on the counter. You stayed with him on that bathroom floor for a minute, your hand soothingly rubbing up and down his scarred back and your gaze empathetic. 

"Why did you come here?" You questioned with a weak laugh, shaking your head. "The hospital's closer to the village gates."

"I had to see you," Kakashi mumbled and took your hand so he could hold it in both of his. Your skin was comforting to touch, and without thinking, he raised your hand to his lips so he could press a tender kiss against your knuckles, which earned him a chuckle from you.

"Whatever happened to you tonight has gotten you sentimental, huh?" It was true. Kakashi's life was in danger all the time, but it hadn't really sunk in until after that dream. Though he felt like his life was bound to be short due to his line of work, he wanted to live the rest of it with you... And he still hadn't even told you about his feelings yet, which he was still rather depressed over. He needed to tell you and he knew it, and the fact that he'd been in serious danger tonight only encouraged him further. "I don't know why you thought that coming to see me was a better idea than going to a hospital where they were considerably more prepared for something like this, but I do appreciate you trusting me," You pulled him up by the hand and refilled the glass of water with the bathroom sink before pushing it towards him, but he wanted to continue what he was saying and you seemed more concerned about his physical state, which he supposed was understandable considering how rough his condition was. "Please, drink."

"You don't understand-" He started, taking the water and setting the glass back down on the counter so he could talk to you.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up a bit." You reached underneath the bathroom counter for some antiseptic wipes, which you used to wipe the remaining blood and dirt off of him. It burned, which was expected, but he was just relieved that he could relax for a moment with you watching over him. He was healed, you were there, and he was okay. "Sorry if it hurts."

"It's okay," Kakashi reassured you, shaking his head as you threw the wipes in the bathroom trash. "I don't mind it hurting if it's you doing it."

"I don't know what you mean by half of the things you say sometimes," You sighed and looked through your cabinet before emerging with a brand new toothbrush and bubblegum toothpaste, which you handed to him. "Here."

"Thanks," Kakashi quickly brushed his teeth, a bit surprised at the fact that you had both a spare toothbrush and his favorite brand of toothpaste. After he was done, he put the toothbrush back in the little bag it had come in, and you put it along with the toothpaste on the counter. "My mouth kinda tasted like vomit, so that was a relief... Since when do you like bubblegum toothpaste, though?"

"I only keep it here for when you come."

Kakashi blinked at that, a flush taking over from his head to his chest. You keeping that there for him and him specifically... It felt so domestic- just like that dream. He wanted that life with you more than anything, but how was he going to get there? How exactly should he confess? Would he be able to do a good enough job?

"Oh."

"Your adrenaline high is fading, Kakashi," You laughed at his dazed stare and pulled him along to the bedroom, urging him to get into the bed, which he did. Your bedroom was a lot nicer than his. Your walls were painted a pretty shade of (f/c), you had a corkboard with polaroids you'd taken over the years pinned to it, there were a couple of paintings on your walls and flowers in your windowsill, and your covers and pillows smelled just like you in the best way possible He expected you to join him in your bed, but you turned to leave, so he caught your wrist in his hand and shook his head as he objected.

"No, don't go... Please? I want you to stay."

With a sigh, you rolled your eyes and sat down on the edge of the bed. Kakashi immediately turned to lay with his head in your lap so he could stare up at you. You stared down at him, eyes curious as you moved to grab the blanket to pull over his nearly-bare body.

"Kakashi?" You tilted your head, reaching down and tentatively running your fingers through his silvery hair. "What's going on with you?"

"I want it, (y/n)," Kakashi confessed, and you froze, looking rather confused. He figured he should probably clarify. "I want that future with you- I want to spend the rest of our lives together, if you'd let me."

"Kakashi, what are you talking about?" You demanded, smoothing his hair back so it would be out of his face. "Your injuries haven't made you delirious, have they? Should I take you to the hospital?"

"No, I- Listen, I had this dream that's been on my mind since the night I had it. Remember that night a couple weeks ago when you ran into me walking and I looked like shit?" 

"You didn't look like shit, per se, I was just worried you were sick or upset..."

Kakashi sat up so he could face you and grab your hands to hold in his. You looked scared now, which made him wonder if he should've gone about it in a more subtle way, a way that didn't include telling you the truth about everything, but it was too late to go back now and he knew it. 

"I went out on that walk because I woke up from that dream in my shitty apartment, and I was depressed that I woke up without you there by my side, so I left to get some fresh air... You know, this dream was honestly all I've ever wanted in life; us dating and getting married, having kids, this two-story house with a training field in the backyard, me making dinner at night and us racing each other to read every new addition to the Makeout series of all things- I want you, I want all of it."

"I've dreamt about it too, Kakashi," You let out what sounded like a sigh of relief before continuing. "I guess we have a lot of the same fantasies, but uh... How did this even happen? I never knew you liked me like that. Like, at all... Not like that, anyways. I thought you saw me as a friend and nothing more."

"It's a long story, but..." Kakashi trailed off and held your hands even tighter, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. "I've loved you for so long, but I was afraid to say something because... Well, I don't know why. We both know I'm scared of a lot of things. I promise I'll make all your dreams come true if you just give me the chance to do so, (y/n)."

"It's okay," Thankfully, you smiled and held his hands back, interlacing your fingers with his. "I'm just happy you actually return my feelings. This by itself is one of my dreams, y'know? You don't have to do anything else."

"But I want to," Kakashi leaned forward, slow and tentative and soft, allowing his lips to brush against yours for just a moment before the two of you were intertwining; lips molding into lips, hearts pouring into hearts, souls melting into souls. He knew he probably tasted strongly of that obnoxiously sweet bubblegum flavor from the toothpaste, but he didn't care, only tilting his head to deepen the kiss as you ran your thumbs over his cheekbones and smiled into it. After a few lingering seconds, he broke the kiss so he could continue his sentence. "I want to do everything for you."

"You're always trying to do too much for other people," You shook your head as you spoke, though Kakashi didn't miss the note of fondness lacing your voice. "Just calm down a bit. We have all the time in the world."

Kakashi wasn't quite sure how you could say that last sentence so confidently when neither of you really knew what was to come in your near future, but your tone was reassuring enough for him to believe you. 

"I love you," Kakashi whispered the words that he hadn't said to anyone in what must've been a good two decades, but despite their unfamiliar sound in his head, they felt natural rolling off of his tongue when he said them to you.

"I love you, too," Kakashi grinned and pulled you into his arms, afraid to let you go as he fell back into the bed with you on top of him. You allowed him to hold you, only reaching down to yank the covers over both of you before sighing and settling into Kakashi's touch. "Go to sleep. You need your rest or my healing won't do you much good in the long run."

"Will you be here when I wake up?" Kakashi asked, holding onto you a little tighter and reaching up to nervously play with the ends of your hair. 

"Of course I will," You reassured him and moved to lay on your side right next to his tired body, burying your face in his bare chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. "Just go to sleep, okay? I promise I'll be here when you wake up."

And you were right about that because when weren't you right? 

You were there the next morning when he woke up.

...And, luckily for him, you were there by his side every morning after that, too.


End file.
